Rachel's reality
I am a mother of four, a survivor of domestic violence and a campaigner against domestic violence and economic abuse.
I left the abusive relationship over 17 years ago when I was pregnant with my fourth child. A few weeks later I had a minor car accident and had whiplash but because I was 3 months pregnant they couldn’t treat my back, shoulder and hip injuries and I had to wait until my child was born to get treatment. This has left me with long term disabilities. I had to leave my job as a civil servant at HMRC.
HMRC as my employer paid a company to assess if I was fit for work and they said i was not. When I was being assessed by the DWP for benefits as i couldn't work, they used the same company, who refused my claim. The same company concluded I was not fit for work but also not eligible for benefits. I had to fight this decision and the tribunal took less than 10 minutes to say I couldn’t work and should get the support.
I have to have medicals every few years for my Personal Independent Payments (PIP) and every time you start from scratch. I keep all the records to show them my diagnosis for PTSD from when I was raped by my ex partner, the bulging and prolapsed discs in my lower spine and neck and my diagnosis for fibromyalgia. It is humiliating to have to prove again and again. They watch you in the waiting room and once said I was sitting down so was ok but then they also said they needed to help me from the chair as I couldn’t stand up unaided.
What I went through while I was living with my ex partner was awful but what he has put me through since has been worse. For the last 13 years he has taken to using the DWP as a weapon against me. He and his partner have reported me 8 times to DWP saying I am lying about my illness etc... Every time they investigate they are doing his bidding. They investigate even though they admit every time that I am right and the claims are proven to be malicious. While they investigate I have lost some of my money, nearly lost my mobility car etc…. this makes it hard. My ex has used the council and even the bank to terrorise my family. He has tried to find out our address, sent death threats and withheld child support payments.
Money is already tight. I have missed meals, the supermarket shop has gone up even for the basics. I don’t turn on the heating in the day (even though this is bad for my disabilities) and am terrified of winter as I can’t afford to heat the house. I can never have the safety net of savings, I can’t get credit. I had an unexpected bill recently and it wiped out the little I had and then the cooker blew up and now I can’t replace it.
It feels humiliating getting social security. I am ostracised and labeled as a scrounger. It gets to the stage where I don’t want to leave the house as people might say I'm faking it. I feel like I have to prove myself all the time. As a person it feels humiliating that I can’t provide for the family.
It can happen to anybody. Anybody can have that car accident or an illness that makes you bedridden. Until it happens people don’t understand the enormity of it. We all deserve to live with those basic human rights of food, water, electric, gas and everything else regardless of circumstances that prevent you going and getting the work yourself.
I worry if I had been in the violent relationship now I wouldn’t be able to leave as I couldn’t afford food etc…. I am terrified for the women stuck in violent situations who feel they can’t leave because of lack of money and stigma of being on benefits.