Adolescence, social media and phone bans

Blog by Claire Gibson - AF Committee member. 
 

Late last month, Adolescence creator Jack Thorne addressed Parliament to discuss misogyny among men and boys. He told the Women and Equalities Committee the “real problem” is tech firms “making money” off promoting harmful attitudes to women among young boys. 

Meanwhile the makers of Adolescence are in talks about a second season. Much like parents across the world I watched Netflix hit show with interest, then closely followed the conversations it started around teenage boys and incel culture. Few of us in the feminist community were surprised by what we saw in the show – we've been concerned about the influence of the manosphere on boys and the rise in misogyny among teens for quite some time. The show has successfully brought the issue into the mainstream. 

In the weeks that followed Adolescence’s release, while we all digested the show, it seemed everyone online had a hot take and a solution to fix the issues that the show exposed. These broadly fell under the headings of banning phones in school, banning social media for children, introducing positive male role models, and better Relationship and Sex Education (RSE) in schools. 

As the parent of an autistic teen, the idea of a phone ban for under-16s terrifies me. My daughter had a phone for her eleventh birthday and uses it to switch off from the world and self-sooth. It’s cruel to take phones away from teens playing games to unwind. 

Social media has been a lifeline for her too – when meeting friends in-person is too much, she can socialise via WhatsApp groups and SnapChat. This is much more manageable when you’re autistic and interacting with other teens in real life is a minefield. Taking her phone away would be taking her friends away. 

I reject the line that social media is bad. Social media is a magnified reflection of humanity filled with wonder, evil and everything in between. If my daughter hadn’t recognised herself in autism videos on TikTok we still might not have worked it out. It’s so much harder to spot autism in girls – they are better at  camouflaging traits, and when you think of autism you generally think of the male presentation.   

Social media is were so many of us get our news, share ideas and find our community. Taking this away from, for example LGBTQ+ teens will lead to isolation. Teens’ worlds would become dangerously small. 

Plus banning phones or social media simply wouldn’t work – teens would find a way. Who waits until it’s legal to start smoking or vaping? If teens are using phones and social media illicitly parents have no chance of monitoring usage or discussing what teens are seeing online with them. I also can’t see the point in a phone ban in schools – that will simply shift the time of day online bullying occurs - even if it could be enforced. 

Many think lessons in schools to combat misogyny is the answer. Some organisations, such as Beyond Equality, are doing truly wonderful work in schools.  

When my daughter was 13 gender equality organisation Plan International came into her school and delivered a three-day course giving pupils the tools to be critical of what they see in the media, explore patriarchal systems that aren’t serving boys or girls, and call out misogyny when they see it. A few days afterwards a teacher quipped “boys will be boys” and there was a pile-on of boys scolding her and explaining why she shouldn’t say things like that. 

However wonderful it can be when done right, stand-alone Relationship and Sex Education (RSE) lessons can only go so far when there is sexism imbedded throughout our schools. As the charity End Sexism in Schools highlights, the school curriculum itself is sexist. Its research shows that in Key Stage 3 English lessons – Jamie and Katie in Adolescence are in the same top-set English class – 82% of novels taught have a male protagonist and 99% of the plays taught are by men. End Sexism In Schools is currently researching the history curriculum, but we can predict that the results will be similarly grim.  

When boys only learn about male achievements and perspectives, while women are ‘othered’, they don’t have the chance to see the world through female eyes and develop empathy – essentially see women and girls as human, not supporting roles to the default male main character. The charity draws a direct link to the invisibility of women and girls in the curriculum and the cycle of violence both in schools and beyond. RSE lessons would be more effective if they weren’t at odds with the messages boys are getting in all their other lessons every day. 

In light of this, the call for more male role models feels short-sighted. Surely boys need more female role models in what they learn in lessons and elsewhere. My daughter first remembers being separated into boys and girls to line up in school aged four and it just kept happening. She was taught were she belonged – playing in the corner of the playground with the other girls while the boys dominated the yard playing football. It’s ‘us and them’ from such a young age. No wonder teens are splitting down gender lines with boys sometimes finding a home in incel culture and teenage girls turning to feminism, which boys perceive to be critical of them. 

The social media algorithm is pushing vulnerable teenage boys towards incel culture and they are at risk of being radicalised, just like Jamie in Adolescence, and the consequences are often catastrophic. However we shouldn’t take their phones off them. We need to tackle the structural sexism they are exposed to, especially in schools, and make sure there is a strong counter-narrative to what they see online. It’s not inevitable that boys will be boys.